7/18 to 7/24

[DAFRIDGE]

i like having this format for the jokes for the week. keep the jokes coming.

[chucktx]

.................................................. Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johhny?"

"Well, my goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up,"and I've just buried him."

The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied... "That's because he's inside your cat!"...............................
chucktx

[chucktx]

well.......lets try this one........



DOG'S 10 PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS

1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny.......not very funny at all.

2. Yelling at me for barking.....I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is it anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.....stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you are not at home.

6. The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.....you nitwit.

7. Taking me to the vet for the 'Big Snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back there.

8. Getting upset when I sniff your guests crotches. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered the handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Idiot!

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous

[chucktx]

ok...........lets try this one..............

A pompous minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Oklahoma.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch my lips."
The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."

chucktx

[DAFRIDGE]

LOL chuck these are funny.... im sure your not the only only one wiht humor here cmon people this is only like the third week this part of the forum has been up and its dead already!

[chucktx]

Here's some of that intellectual stuff you run across
on the Internet from time to time.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod
are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and
lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
go fiugre.......
chucktx

[chucktx]

A boat painter was awarded the job of painting a small sail boat and when he was asked by the owner, how long it would take him to finish the job, he replied, "Two weeks".

Three weeks went by and the owner, a little concerned of the delay, confronted the painter. "Hey Paul", said the owner, "You told me that it would take you two weeks to paint my boat and it's been three weeks....What's up with that?" The painter put his paintbrush down, looked the owner square in the eye and said, "That was two NAUTICAL weeks, like a nautical mile, they're a little longer".

chucktx