1/10-1/15 jokes

[DAFRIDGE]

what else can i say except POST AWAY!!

[chucktx]

How Many Do You Remember?
________________________

Headlight dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Having to use hand signals.
Trouser-clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a blowtorch.
Blowtorches.
chucktx

[chucktx]

A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"

"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."

"You sell them here?" the customer asks. "Only $4 apiece," says Morris. The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

"You didn't eat enough, " says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.

"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!"

"You see?" says Morris. "You're smarter already."
chucktx

[chucktx]

It's easy to identify the people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
chucktx

[chucktx]

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are from Louisiana visiting a relative at the Huntsville, Texas prison. Walking along Sam Houston Street, they see a sign which reads:'Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair.

Boudreaux says to his pal, "Hey Thib, LOOK! We could buy a whole lot of those, and when we get back to Lafayette, we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talkin' cause if they hear our Cajun accent they might not serve us. I'll speak in my best Texas drawl."

They go in and Boudreaux orders 50 suits at $5.00 each, 100 shirts at $2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at $2.50 each.

The owner of the shop says, "You're from Louisiana, aren't you?"

"Oh, ... yes," says a surprised Boudreaux. "How come you know dat?"

The owner says, "Cause this is a dry-cleaners."
chucktx

[chucktx]

And finally, this one's not a joke but a very thoughtful piece of philosophy. I include it not only because it makes so much sense, but as a way of saying Thanks to the Cherokee.
_______________

An old Cherokee was telling his grandson about a fight that was going on inside himself. He said the fight was between two wolves.

One was evil: Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other was good: Joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The grandson thought about it for a minute, and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old man replied simply, "The one I feed."
chucktx

[aixguy]

Originally Posted by chucktx

How Many Do You Remember?
________________________

Headlight dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Having to use hand signals.
Trouser-clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a blowtorch.
Blowtorches.
chucktx

All of them, and you forgot 3 on the tree,manual stearing, points and conderser and rolle skate keys!

Doug

[chucktx]

yes i did,,,,thanks!!!!!
chucktx