reading emails

[chucktx]

New study


A South American Scientist, from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has
discovered that people with not enough sexual activities read their
e-mails with their hand on the mouse.


Don't bother taking it off, it's too late
chuck

[egneg]

Ha Ha thats a good one Chuck!

Glad I was using a laptop when I read this.

[Kicks]

Lol,... depends on who the email is from,... and I don't call it "The Mouse"!

[paulmo1]

For those of you who appreciate my sense of humour, this cracked me up! boom boom!





This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas,
but there are more Catholic churches there than casinos.

Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino
chips rather than cash when the basket is passed. Since they get
chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised
a method to collect the offerings.

The churches send all their collected chips to nearby Franciscan Monastery
for sorting, and
then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

This is done by a chip monk.

[arthur]

Wives,

If you want to keep your hubbies from reading your email, rename the desired folder to "INSTRUCTION MANUALS"....

[bilywhizz]

[quote=paulmo1]For those of you who appreciate my sense of humour, this cracked me up! boom boom!





The reason there is more churches is more people go to them praying for luck next time they visit the casinos.

[Kicks]

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars
for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you
this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend
all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the
man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of
food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm
going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for
doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man
looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

[gtech]

I love it

Gilles

[redneck]

Originally Posted by Kicks

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars
for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you
this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend
all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the
man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of
food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm
going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for
doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man
looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

Do you play golf? I was too busy fishing & hunting to take up golf, that was the good old days

sandstone Ray

[HDALE]

Fishing

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation
took place:

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build
her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I
will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said
a word. So they asked him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut
off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex"

..and she said, "Wear sun-block."

[chucktx]

that was a good one!!!!! lol lol
chuck

[jeeptuff]

So a grandpa takes his grandson fishing.
On the way out the door the boys mother hands her son a lunch and says have fun with grandpa.
So the two get to the lake and toss in there lines, about an hour goes by and grandpa opens a beer. The grandson says,"Can I have a beer gramps?"
Grandpa say,"Does your pee pee reach your bum?"
Grandson say,"No."
"Well then you can't have a beer." satates grampa.

About another hour goes by and grandpa takes a big ole chew of tobacco.
Grandson say, "Can I have a chew?"
Grandpa once agin says,"Does your pee pee reach your bum?"
Grandson, "No."
"Well then now chew for you" states grandpa.

Another hour goes by and the grandson opens the lunch his mother made him. He pulls out this monster of a sandwich.
The grandpa say, "Can I have half of that big tatsey looking sandwich?"
The grandson smiles and says, "Does your pee pee reach your bum?"
The grandpa say, "Yes, yes it does."
The grandson say," Good then go screw yourself, you ain't getting any of my sandwich."


I appoligize if this is to vulgar for the site, please delete is you feel appropriate..

Eric

[redneck]

Do you remember T V program called [ kids say the darnest things] if this program were still on tv this story would wins

sandstone Ray