9/12-9/18

[DAFRIDGE]

summer's gone so quick! lets roll this week on folks nothin to see here.

[Kicks]

[chucktx]

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for thear swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watched in amazement.

Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
chucktx

[chucktx]

'Spose if the old Soviet Intelligence Service had had a "company" softball team they would've called themselves the "Cagey Bees"?
chucktx

[chucktx]

Three men, one American, one Japanese and one an Irishman were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The Irishman felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind.

The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Irishman finally said-------"Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a fax."
chucktx

[chucktx]

Gotta love them Texans:

NOMINATED FOR QUOTE OF THE YEAR . . .

This is the statement made by Texas Republican Member of the House, Dick Armey, who was asked by a Reporter, "IF YOU HAD BEEN IN PRESIDENT CLINTON'S PLACE, WOULD YOU HAVE RESIGNED?"

He responded, "If I were in the President's place, I would not have gotten a chance to resign. I would be lying in a pool of my own blood hearing Mrs. Armey standing over me saying, "How do I reload this damned thing?"
chucktx

[DAFRIDGE]

lol good ones chuck and kicks, seems like this week is a little slow.

[chucktx]

A professor at the University of Texas was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 90 students raise their hands.
“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve seen a ghost?” About 40 students raise their hands.
“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” 15 students raise their hands.
“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?” 3 students raise their hands.
“That’s fantastic. But let me ask you one question further...”
Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?” Dwayne, way in the back raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses, and says: “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. As he ambles slowly toward the podium, the professor says: “Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost."

”Awwww shoot ... From way back thar, I thought you said, “Goats”!!