[paulmo1]

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with
bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in
line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them
with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a
girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy
dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your
freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while
tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"



The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother.

"Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy
thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly
whispered, "Wrinkles."

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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood
was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a
tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked
wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this
in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how
you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how
are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided
to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She
would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I
continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think
you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised."Mine says I'm four"

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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the
children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to
discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell him what it
was. Susie raised her! hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take
the covers off thy neighbour's wife,"

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Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about the movie
we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.

In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the
submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was
the 20,000 leaks!!"



A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess
what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do
you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to
"i" and add 'es'."

Why wouldn't an English teacher love that one???)



" Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy
wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad
aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. It means carrying a child."



A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had
made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men
in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is
soldiers in your cup!"

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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home
one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire
truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another,
"he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a
close...."They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."



Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as
well dance"