some basic rules for driving in texas........just a few.....
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver
never uses them.
2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you, or somebody else will
fill in that space putting you in an even more dangerous
situation.
3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is
considered "going with the flow."
4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the
chance you have of getting hit.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork. The other guy doesn't have anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to
ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot
massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without
ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions
and are apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush
hour.
8. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut
during rush-hour traffic.
9. Always slow down and rubber-neck when you see an accident or
even someone changing a tire.
10. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours,
especially 4WD drivers.
11 It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move
the instant the light changes.
12. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of
way.
13. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and
left before proceeding.
14. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first,
by whatever means necessary.
15. Real women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup
at 130 kph in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
16. Real men drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at 130 kph in
bumper-to-bumper traffic.
17. Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the
previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way
ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards,
and new vehicle sales.
18. There is a common held belief that highspeed tailgating in
heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along
in the slipstream of the car in front. This is true.
19. It's OK to cut off fully loaded semi-trailers, road trains
and buses because they have brakes.
20. Always anticipate oncoming traffic while driving down a one
way street.
21. It's O.K when driving in suburbs to air your grievances at
bad drivers by giving the "one or two finger salute" while
screaming out "f*cking arsehole". But it is imperative you are
driving a turbo charged V6 or a 5 litre V8, with a crow bar in
your lap.
chucktx
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