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Thread: Makin the email rounds

  1. #1
    **JR MEMBER** Kaiilla will become famous soon enough Kaiilla's Avatar
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    Default Makin the email rounds

    SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!



    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

    Juan on Juan



    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?

    The position of the dirt bag



    Why is divorce so expensive?

    Because it's worth it.



    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

    Doughnuts?



    Why is air a lot like sex?

    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any



    What do you call a smart blonde?

    A golden retriever.



    What do attorneys use for birth control?

    Their personalities.



    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

    45 lbs



    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

    45 minutes



    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

    Through his chest with a sharp knife.



    Why do men want to marry virgins?

    They can't stand criticism.



    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

    Because those men already have boyfriends



    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you



    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.



    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

    Because they have cotton balls.



    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.



    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

    "Are you sure it's mine?"



    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

    Mace will do that to you.



    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?

    Everyone has the same DNA.



    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

    Breasts don't have eyes.



    Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?

    He walks around saying "Yo."



    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.



    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

    A different bar.



    Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?

    They named him "Sum Ting Wong"



    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

    A speech impediment.



    What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

    They're hiring.



    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".



    How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!





    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."

    A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh+*"



    Why is there no Disneyland in China ?

    No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

  2. #2
    **JR MEMBER** snazee_d is on a distinguished road snazee_d's Avatar
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    those are really funny
    Imagination is an artists most powerful tool.
    http://snazee-d.deviantart.com/gallery/
    Sandro

  3. #3
    contributing artist landsbro will become famous soon enough landsbro's Avatar
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    He,He,, fun stuff,,,hmm,, gonna figure out a way to translate them to swedish,,

    "do you know what animal has the a$$ hole on the back,,,,,


    "Police horse"
    umgh,,

  4. #4
    **JR MEMBER** snazee_d is on a distinguished road snazee_d's Avatar
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    that's too funy
    Imagination is an artists most powerful tool.
    http://snazee-d.deviantart.com/gallery/
    Sandro

  5. #5
    donjohnson
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".


    that one might just be the best of the lot

  6. #6
    oldest senior member redneck is on a distinguished road redneck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    they are all very funny
    IN GOD WE TRUST

    bray

  7. #7
    egneg is on a distinguished road egneg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    I like the Italian one since I work for an Italian owned company - needless to say the gestures loose something in the translation.

  8. #8
    senior member rowie is on a distinguished road rowie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    those are as funny as all hell.
    She might be rough n rusty but she's all mine.

    Shaun "The HardCore-rowie" Rowe
    Keep the pressure down and the ink flowing
    Blurred Vision 08 on PhotoBucket snapshots into the life of rowie!

  9. #9
    contributing artist Diaz Dezine is on a distinguished road Diaz Dezine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    I'm goin to a party tomorrow night and I'm gonna have to memorize all these!!
    Too funny and great post!!
    DIAZ
    http://www.leediaz.com
    ....don't wanna be rich, don't wanna be famous, just want to be remembered....

  10. #10
    **JR MEMBER** Kaiilla will become famous soon enough Kaiilla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    Quote Originally Posted by egneg View Post
    I like the Italian one since I work for an Italian owned company - needless to say the gestures loose something in the translation.
    When I was in high school I knew a girl that spoke while mover her hands to the extreme. She was kidded about it constantly. While standing around in a group I said "If you couldn't move your hands you couldn't talk". I the proceeded to grab her hands and hold them still. She got so flustered that she could not in fact speak. I then released her hands and,,, Off she went 100 miles an hour both verbally and gesturally. I then grabbed her hands again and the words stopped abruptly.

    TRUE STORY

  11. #11
    airbrush technique advisor KDSilverBrush is on a distinguished road KDSilverBrush's Avatar
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    Default Re: Makin the email rounds

    Hahahaha ROFLMLBO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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